Flu

Well … there have been a few developments since last we spoke. The good news is that my kidneys, on further inspection, seem to be coping okay. I am having a renal scan tomorrow to confirm this, but hopefully the need for stents will be postponed for now. However, I started the bone strengthening injections last week and have to say that, to my surprise, the side-effects were worse than those of the chemo! As always there is a list of potential problems, but the main side effect is the onslaught of flu symptoms. Now, all women know and accept that men get flu much more severely than they do … and quite regularly too. However, even by men’s standards this wasn’t good. A lot of joint pain, which made moving around very difficult, and painkillers had to be taken during the night in order to get some sleep. That said, today things are pretty much back to normal and so all I need to do is factor this in ... plan for lazy days (no problem there) and stash up on codeine tablets. I didn’t realise until this first infusion, but I will be on these indefinitely, every four weeks. Better get used to it, I suppose.
I think I will be having the radiotherapy blast to my bones in the near future. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow and no doubt he will be able to fill me in.

At school we are on the final rush to Christmas. I can't believe it! Parties, nativities, a visiting theatre production ... complaints about parties, nativities, a visiting theatre production. Ooooh I love it!
















Futures

Allowed the privacy of a side ward
to let the doctor’s words settle,
dig in,
draw blood.

Instead, you came to mind.

The evening before High School
and we are plotting our futures,
heading home on the park’s straight path
to roomy blazers broad on hangers,
pressed shirts next to new ties.

We didn’t foresee the misty bend
on the Crieff road.
You, at 24 - gone in an instant (the police assured).
Me, now- dying in slow motion,
examining the kerb, wall, ditch
and road markings you missed,
that tore past you
as fast as childhood.

for Ian Douglas Mitchell
1964 - 1988

Which Do You Want First?

Mary and I met with our Consultant yesterday to discuss the results of the scans and blood tests. Not great news, I'm afraid, although there are certainly some positives. The bad news is that the main site of the disease (bones and soft tissue in my pelvis) has been completely untouched by 6 months of chemo. In fact there has been slight spread, which explains the high CEA levels and increased pain. Added to our sadness at this is the fact that there is now nothing more they can do to tackle the disease in that area. Also, the main tumour is pressing on the tubes that drain my kidneys and my kidneys are slightly swollen and not functioning properly. I am going to need a small op to reduce the pressure on them, probably in the next week or so.
The good news is that the small tumours on my lungs and scar tissue have gone from the scans. Great! But ... they will be back. Chemo very much reduces them but doesn't remove them completely. Nevertheless, gone for now.

So what happens next? I am to have a single dose of radiotherapy to the affected bones and some bone strengthening injections to try and lock calcium in and thus reduce the tumours' progress. I am also having two blood tests a week to monitor my kidney function. When they deteriorate to a certain level I will be whipped into hospital to have stents fitted into the said tubes, but not before I have gorged a couple of buckets of valium! The much dreaded next chemo regime will start when the tumours in my lungs and elsewhere reappear. So ... watch this space.

We are well supported up here (and of course by your good selves) so we are coping surprisingly well. Daily life is still more or less completely normal, and we are very grateful for that. Yes, even for the usual spate of irrational school parents' concerns which this week have focused on the potential drug dangers of the school 'litter pick'. Yes, even for the £60 fine and 3 points on my license for a moment of unwise overtaking on the A59 last Wednesday!

Can anyone lend me a bike?